So you seem to have stumbled upon my little LJ.

Well, if you'd like to read the crazy insane ramblings of a semi-coherent 20 something, comment on the FO post below and I'll say hi!

• 00:08 @kelly960 OH GOD THAT SONG. SERIOUSLY. WHY. JUST...WHY. IT SERIOUSLY RUINS MY LIFE JUST BY EXISTING. #
• 00:11 @kelly960 AAAAAAAARGH IT ACTUALLY MADE ME STOP LISTENING TO THE RADIO FOR ABOUT A YEAR. IT MUST DIE AAAAAAAAAAAARGH D-:<!!!!! #
• 02:28 @kelly960 twitpic.com/1w615 - Oh ILU hard right now.
  
  Nice one! :-D #
• 02:30 @kelly960 YOU'RE A ROCKSTAR! Can I be a groupie? I'm good at...drinking with people! :-P #
• 02:31 And now I'm going to bed. I *finally* feel tired. Whooooooooooot! #
• 12:01 Just heard the most beautiful piece of classical music, but don't know the name or the composer. Think it's alright to go and ask? #
• 14:00 Hee...I might be going home next week! I'm the best sister ever :-D #
• 15:53 I have nothing to do today. Or next week. Or the week after. Sigh. #
• 17:19 @kelly960 I refuse to believe that. The Darkness are unforgettable! (How d'you do the heart thing?) :-P #
• 17:53 @missgems ♥ ♥ ♥ #
• 17:59 @missgems I was about to send Jen a wreath! Then I realised that I have no money...so I didn't :-P ♥ MSN? #
• 18:15 @kelly960 ♥ AGREED. #
• 18:24 @kelly960 OH GOD TOTAL WIPEOUT! ILU! #
• 18:34 @kelly960 Chavs putting themselves through torture so the Irish co-presenter can laugh at them and be sarcastic? WIN. #
• 19:14 @kelly960 DARA?! WHERE?! #
• 19:20 @kelly960 But what programme? I'm still in France! Should I expect MTW to be mentioned anywhere? OMG WHAT'S GOING ONNNNNNNNNNNN?!?!?!?!?!?!? #
• 19:35 @kelly960 DARA?! DANCING?! WTF?! #
• 19:41 @kelly960 I'd love to see Dara dance. I would pay SUCH good money to see Dara dance :-P #
• 19:53 @missgems HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! #
• 22:20 @kelly960 YOU'RE INVOKING RULE 34! STOP IT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! *giggles* #
• 22:39 @kelly960 Dude, I never really shipped RD. I always wanted Kryten as a mate though, because of the tidy room benefits :-P #
• 22:46 @kelly960 Yeah...that is true...I laughed so hard at that. That was during my innocent days before I got my goggles in the post! :-P #
• 23:47 You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals, so let's do it like they do on the Discovery Channel ;-P #
• 23:53 @missgems It's the law, I'm afraid :-P #
• 23:58 @kelly960 I can't even remember that episode! Series/Ep#? #

Automatically shipped by LoudTwitter

I just had an epic 5 hours waiting for/watching Merlin E13. There was (and still is in the international reaction post) lots of squeeing and crazy ideas and love everywhere. Fucking epic and OMG everyone's as crazy as I am.

Also, I must kidnap Colin and Bradley when they start filming again next year. Please help me plan this?

ALSO PLEASE POST YOUR FAVOURITE MOMENTS OF EPISODE 13 BELOW. IT WILL BE AWESOME AND WE CAN ALL SQUEE AGAIN.

http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/1240188/what_i_love_about_christmas.html

Go read it. Go.

Now.

I'm actually published. I'm an actual journalist. Oh GOD. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

Someone calm me down?!

...AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH! THIS GUY HAS ADDED ME TO HIS FLIST FOR SOME REASON!

I'VE NEVER BEEN MORE FUCKING TERRIFIED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE!

WHO ARE YOU, WHAT DO YOU WANT AND WHY ARE YOU DRESSED LIKE A NOSELESS FREDDIE KREUGER?!

Dear America,

:-D.

Love

Kimmeh

HOOPS AND YOYO!

That is all.

Well, that, and I WANT TO BE A PIRATE YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY black_dranzer!

You're 21, fool!

...the following people were put in a room together?

1. Brian Blessed and John Barrowman
2. Patrick Stewart and Sir Ian M (I know they worked together for X-men, but my theory is that they weren't allowed to speak to each other except when filming because the world would implode of AWESOME)
3. A small puppy and any adorable younger sibling from a Disney movie.

I want answers, people! ANSWERS!

I FANCY THIS GUY EVEN THOUGH HE HAS NO JAW AND IS FICTIONAL.

End message, y'all!

"Over the Hedge" is a fucking BRILLIANT film.

Willis and Shatner contained in one CGI-moulded universe?

Hells. To the. Yeah.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A-XIrknMRdU

WHO SANG THIS VERSION?!

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO?!

CLICK OR MY DRAGON WILL DIE!

I JUST FUCKING WON TICKETS TO THE HANCOCK PREMIERE ON WEDNESDAY!

Today is a good fucking day!

I'm in the library, waiting to talk to someone about Poitiers Uni, I've definitely passed two of my modules, with the third looking promising, so I can do resits :-D

I'm talking to Sass, and we're just living in each other's heads, imagining what it would be like if we could make people burst into massive musical numbers of awesome, like in a Broadway show.

AND...Journey are playing on my mp3 player. The only downside is that I wish I could sing along to it, but meh. I'll just content myself with grinning like a LOONY and scaring people around me.

Oh, yes. Life is GOOD today. I may even make a list of happy. In fact, I will!

Therefore, in no particular order:

1. Journey. I love Journey. They always make me smile.

2. The musical finale from Moulin Rouge. Even though I know what's coming next, it always makes me jump and go "YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES! WHOOP WHOOP!"

3. Andrew. He wishes he could bunk off work and kidnap me to the seaside today :-P I like Andrew. He's cool.

4. Thinking about happy things :-P

5. My dad knows NOTHING. This makes me happy because it means that I'm doing a good job of sorting stuff out on my own.

6. It's summer! This means I can perve on topless hot men in Canterbury.

7. Topless hot men in Canterbury. Fuck that! Topless hot men in general!

8. I'M GOING TO FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANCE!

9. Liquid Friends. Last night they had run out of Creme Eggs, so they gave us Lindt ones FOR THE SAME PRICE. I nearly CAME.

10. The guys at Liquid Friends are, by default, fucking HOT.

11. The fact that I have more than 10 happy things to write about.

12. NO MORE EXAMS. At leat until August, anyway :-P

13. I'm going home today and seeing my friend Frances on Thursday :-D

14. My wisdom teeth are finally getting sorted out! :-D

15. Sass and I live in each other's brains. It's amazing.

16. I'm living away from my parents this summer, like a REAL GROWN UP :-P

17. My mates. They're cool, and they're crazy like me.

18. OMFG MISFITS ON MY MP3 PLAYER! YES! YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!

19. I'm sorta single. I like this. I mean, I'm seeing Andrew, but we're both happy for the other person to see other people, too. I like this right now. Something uncomplicated before I go to France.

20. This:


Myspace layouts


and

21. The bomb scare on campus - it didn't kill me! Wheeeeeee!

...I made a playlist to help me sleep. It makes me feel all relaxed and calm and such. Very very nice.

Also, my first exam is tomorrow, so I'm trying not to spazz out too much. OK, I might be failing SPECTACULARLY on that front, but I'm managing to keep it together for the most part. I hate exams. Like, really really HATE them. Like if-they-had-children-I-would-kidnap-them-and-hold-them-to-ransom-in-order-to-make-them-fucking-stop! hate them. Really really really hate them.

OMG! Last night we watched Moulin Rouge - I never before realised exactly HOW terrifying The Duke was. Especially when he...DOES ANYTHING! Moustaches and the term "sensual ravishment" are now banned from the household, because ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.

Also, I went to my psych eval thing on Friday. She says I definitely have some issues I need to work through, especially relating to my parents. So, we're arranging some sessions. I might get a few extra because I'm staying here over the summer, so that'll be cool. I'm going to send those demons right back into hell!

In other news...not much has happened. I mean, it's exam time, so I'm meant to be revising. Instead, I'm updating my Livejournal.

Ahhh, productivity. How I hope we never have to become good friends :-)

xxx

Kimmeh

...my logic is convoluted.

My body has decided that, rather than get 5 hours sleep before my psych eval thingy (I have no idea what to call it. The gist of what it's about - that I could gather - is that they're establishing exactly how crazy I am...:-P), I should stay up until it's time to go.

Unfortunately, now I've typed this, my body is making me look like a liar and is telling me that it's tired.

I guess I'm sleeping.

Goodnight/morning/whatever!

xxx

Kimmeh!

P.S. OMG TA EMAIL ME WHEN YOU GET UP! eris18@gmail.com

Right, so I went to see my tutor today.

Basically, since I went and spoke to her, if I pass two more modules, I can do resit exams/essays for the others. She also TOTALLY understood the fact that we had to keep this on the downlow from my parents, due to the mild DEATH I would suffer if they found out. She even said that I could my results sent to my Canterbury address so that they don't find out.

She also suggested counselling, because apparently I have issues. Who'da thunk? :-P

Also, I went to the careers advisors whilst I was up on campus. The man had a pleasing baritone and gave me LOADS of good advice on how to get into journalism/travel writing. He also said that the music internship I could be doing this summer would be good if I wanted to do music journalism.

All in all, the crap sandwich has turned into tomato-cheesy pasta goodness today. I was also texting Andrew, who was very amused by the fact that I greeted him with "Hello world! This is a brand new day!"

Omg, I know, a guy who can cope with my crazy :-P

So how is everyone else today?

Kimmeh

xxx

Right, so I'm back home before I fly out to Ireland tonight on the 3rd and final leg of my European Extravaganza. But I thought I'd just pop in and update you all on the happenings of my last couple of days :-)

Anyway, so on Friday, Momo and I went to Heerlen to do some shopping at OMG C&A I LOVE C&A BECAUSE WE DON'T HAVE IT IN THE UK.

So we got the bus over and I fell asleep on the bus. Like, literally nearly fell OUT OF MY SEAT asleep. I have NO idea why I did that, but I guess the hectic-ness of my Week of Extravaganza caught up with me a bit and decided that the best course of action was to make me fall unconscious in public. Idiot body. I mean, when we got to Heerlen, Momo found a sugar packet in her bag which I downed (and then was OK). Yes, I ate pure sugar. Sue me :-P

Also on the way to Heerlen, we saw loads of sheep in a field. This automatically made me text Jey, because I was reminded of the weresheeps movie that we watched while I was at her house. These sheep were obviously related. They were looking at us people on the bus VERY hungrily. Anyway, so Jey asked me to send her one, but no way am I going near those bastards without the Twig of Death. I wouldn't stand a chance!

Yeah, anyway...so Momo took me to Heerlen, which is a VERY strange place. Everywhere we went, there were stone statues of people - including one in a forever stationary conga line. It was as if some of the population had decided to have a massive street party and were singing and dancing and looking up at the stars contemplating their lives when ALL OF A SUDDEN the dragon that lives in the mountains nearby came and turned everyone into stone because they OBVIOUSLY didn't invite him. I say that the people deserved it because the dragon's quite possibly the nicest dragon EVER, seeing as he also supplies the MJ that Momo and I had when we went in a coffee shop :-P

So on the bus back I passed out again, which leads me to believe that there is chloroform in the air conditioning. Also this slightly creepy old man decided to sit RIGHTNEXTTOMELIKETHIS on the bus, even though the damn thing was half empty and there were LOADS of spare seats. Blech.

So then we got back to Momo's and watched Wayne's World and Wayne's World 2. Excellent movies - I hadn't watched them in AGES so it was like seeing them for the first time again. Brilliance.

Also, MEATLOAF was on TV. MEATLOAF. ON GERMAN TV. I was amazed, dazzled...but not slightly aroused. Yeah, I know you were expecting me to be, but come on! The man may have an AMAZINGLY BRILLIANT voice, but he looks like a hippo's arse!

So endeth this day :-P

*-*-*-*-*

Day 2 commenced with me waking up on Momo's VERY comfortable sofa. I mean, seriously, this sofa was AMAZING. OK, so my worldview might be a bit different, seeing as I'm a student. To me, if I get duvets on the floor and a sleeping bag to sleep under, that constitutes a spare bed. But omg I totally want one of these sofas when I grow up and get my own house :-P

Anyway, the previous night I had had a WEIRD dream. Like, REALLY weird. Perhaps I should explain it in italics...

I was walking in a stately garden at night, when I saw that there was a party going on in the summerhouse. I went to investigate and found three versions of my psyche. There was Quiet Little Mouse me (QLM), Fabulously Outrageous Gay Man me (FOGM), and...Eastern European Man me (EEM). I don't know HOW I knew all of these people were me, but I just did. Anyway, QLM, FOGM and EEM were all watching this trio of male strippers...uhm...doing their thing? So I sit down, immediately get jumped on by FOGM and told how great I am. EEM says something that no one understands, and I find myself wishing that I knew the language. QLM sits in the corner and hides. Then...and yes, I totally DID dream this...one of the strippers puts his balls on my head. And I yelp. And FOGM tells me to quit worrying and hands me a small tablet, explaining that it's Ecstacy. I take it...

...and wake up. Like, omg I totally spazzed out and forgot where I was for the first few minutes. How weird? It's like I took the tablet and REAL LIFE IS THE FRICKING TRIP-OUT! Whoooooooooo...uhm...OK...

*-*-*-*-*

Right, so Day 2. It was mostly a lazy day, but me and Momo went out for a nice meal at a bistro and I totally stole a carafe. Oh, yes, I am Kim, MASTER THIEF.

Then, we got home and I randomly started wondering exactly HOW many lines Legolas had in the LOTR trilogy. So, we watched it whilst we were waiting for Doctor Who to become available.

The final tally is:

Fellowship - ??? (Momo will provide you all with that number)
Two Towers - 54
Return of the King - 35

Yes, I am a geek. But hey, it was fun :-P

Then Doctor Who was available and we got to watch ( a spoiler, but I'm not so mean as to leave it public. )

And then I collapsed after meeting Becca and Tom (Momo's neighbours) and having a chat with them. They're cool.

*-*-*-*-*

Right, so then I flew home and the zombie hamsters totally did their job, though it was a bit bumpy so I wasn't the happiest bunny ever. My mum picked me up from the airport and drove me home and I've been telling her only SOME of my adventures in Mainland Europe, but I'm going to be making a scrapbook of everything so that I can have a momento to keep FOREVER.

And then today. I was starting to pack and get ready and stuff and THEN...

...THEN...

I got locked in the toilet. Like, the lock's been buggered for AGES but my mum hasn't got round to fixing it yet, and it's just been getting worse and worse and worse...anyway. So I got locked in the loo, could not get out AT ALL. My mum did EVERYTHING she could think of, not exactly being helped by my dad singing the following whilst standing directly behind her:

Oh, dear! What can the matter be?
Kim is stuck in the lavat'ry!
She's been there from Monday to Saturday!
Nobody knew she was there!

Imagine that over and over and over again whilst your mum is trying to give you instructions through a BIG THICK WOODEN DOOR. Yeah, so I was looking around the bathroom and mentally discussing with myself the possibility of living off toothpaste for a while.

Obviously, I got out, though, and here I am updating you lot while I'm waiting for my laundry to be finished so that I can go pack and have more adventures to tell you about!

And yes, there WILL be adventures. Don't you worry...

*-*-*-*-*

and THAT, readers, is EXACTLY how it happened!

Hello, it's me again, and I bring to you yet another update from my adventures around Europe :-D

OK, so I've been very busy these past few days! Tuesday was my last day/night in Sundsvall, so the neighbours invited us up for a movie and crack!pizza. The movie, Flood, was quite possibly the worst film EVER made! OK, so it's got Robert Carlyle in it, but come on! There was no Pole of Death, like there usually is in disaster movies and they didn't even finish the movie properly - they ended without letting you know if the major important plan to save London actually worked!

Jey also took me to a Real Swedish Ikea(tm). It was BRILLIANT! EVERYTHING was in Swedish, and I got to go round asking "What does this mean? What does that mean? Can I have one of those?" Jey took it all in her stride, managing not to kill me for being very annoying. She's very good at that, it seems :-P

We also decided, during the course of Tuesday and Wednesday, that everything that happened in the world that could be attributed as not being very useful at all, was in fact Skorpan's fault. In relation to Skorpan, he stopped trying to kill me and decided I was the best person in the world ever because I let him outside, gave him pouchfood and also provided paper for him to lie on. This, teamed with the fact that I scratched his neck occasionally, meant that I was Amazing.

*-*-*-*-*

Anyway, moving on from that: Wednesday, Jey took me to Stockholm for some quick sightseeing before my flights (yes, plural, but that will be dealt with later) today. Jey married a statue (I have photographic proof), took me to see G2A (omg he's so fit :-P) at the palace and showed me Swedish Parliament. Now, Swedish Parliament is housed in a mostly round building that apparently has magic windows that allows all the MPs to see the entirety of Sweden. This allows them to govern without having to put on their ski suits and go and see the most outerlying areas of the countries. It also keeps them up to date, because they can't get internet (the building is on an island in the middle of a river).

After telling me all this, Jey was quite thirsty. She took me to her favourite cafe in ALL of Stockholm, where I discovered the BIGGEST MUFFINS IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE! I have photos. This thing was BIGGER THAN MY HEAD. I'm not even joking! I couldn't finish the damn thing, it was so bloody huge! I also had a drink, but that's not interesting and I don't even know why I'm mentioning it. Probably to make this paragraph longer. Oh, well.

So, after all this, we went to a bookstore. Here, I discovered my new Bible: the Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Seriously, you should all convert because this religion is AMAZING! You can even call yourself a Pastafarian and be a Pirate. Best. Religion. Ever. It's mainly a carbohydrate-based religion that completely rejects dogma. It's great, I've converted. You should all convert, too :-D

Right, this brings us to the end of the day, which means: The T-bana (not to be confused with Eric Bana). I learnt that the T-bana is the Swedish metro. I heard "Bana" and stopped listening, instead imagining Eric Bana gathering up about six people at a time (three on each shoulder) and carrying them places. I then imagined GOING on the T-bana, and the term "ride" immediately meant something completely different. Happy times ;-D

So we got to Jey's dad's apartment and settled in. Her family are really nice :-D So we get to watching the news with her dad, and I discover that Santa has a summer job: he's a bloody news presenter for Swedish national TV. I pointed this out to Jey, who HAD KNOWN THIS ALREADY AND NOT TOLD ME! BETRAYAAAAAAAAAAL! I am STILL very upset over the whole thing :-P Then, after Santa told us the news, we watched this progamme about zombies and how to kill them. I made notes, because I'm paranoid like that :-D

*-*-*-*-*

Right! Today!

So, so today, Jey took me to the train station and sent me off to the airport, where I began my very lengthy traverse to here, Aachen. I got on a plane at Arlanda, discovered I wouldn't have to check in again at Copehagen (and celebrated) and then got on the plane at Copenhagen, got off the plane at Dusseldorf and got on a train to here.

Now, if you know me quite well (as I hope most of you will after these little stories about Europe), you'll be aware that I FUCKING HATE FLYING. HATE IT. Seriously, one day the plane is just going to DROP OUT OF THE SKY AND KILL ME. Don't tell me it isn't: yes, I know the logic behind planes, but my limbic brain refuses to accept this version of events, instead choosing to believe that there are hamsters turning the engines very very fast and that, one day, these hamsters are going to DIE MID-FLIGHT, killing everyone on board.

So imagine my absolute JOY about having to get on TWO DIFFERENT PLANES today. Thankfully, both flights were quite smooth (and on the first one a man who reminded me of my Grandad decided that I was his friend and he was going to talk to me to calm me down), though there was a moment of COMPLETE PANIC when, just as I was about to board my second flight, the attendant tells me "Oh, your seat's different because we had to change planes. Technical fault."

And then, all through the stewardess' announcements, this MASSIVE ALARM kept going off. It probably only meant that they'd run out of peanuts or something, but having heard the words "technical" fucking "fault" not five minutes previously, I was already making nail marks in the arm rests and the plane hadn't even bloody taken off! The guy next to me kept looking at me suspiciously when I wouldn't stop whimpering.

So yes, I had a drink. And the wine was the WORST WINE EVER. Like, it kind of reminded me of what I could only imagine angry drunk old man piss to taste like. It was so foul that I couldn't even finish the bottle. Ew.

We landed safely, though (obviously :-P), and I got to Aachen OK. From what I've seen of it, it's very pretty. We've just had pizza. It was OK, not QUITE crack!pizza, but close enough for me to enjoy it. Also, I may have offended the taxi driver when I said "Haben Sie mein Kamel gesehen?" to Momo as a proper greeting. Apparently, "Kamel" translates to...well, it's associated with camel TOE, if that helps :-P So the taxi driver looked at me with that kind of "You are rude and I will kill you" look that I seem to gather everywhere I go...

*-*-*-*-*

Tomorrow: Heerlen, coffee shops and probably a long rant about how "deep" everything is...

...and THAT, readers, is EXACTLY how it happened!

OMG, so it's been mega hectic still, but not as hectic as my first day, but I'll still try and tell you all about it.

So we ended up not going out on Saturday night because Jey wasn't feeling too well, but then her two girl neighbours turned up and I we all got very very drunk. It was like a little impromptu party and it was brilliant :-D.

Also, one of the girl neighbours brought her dog over (he's called Elmer and is very adorable and tiny and I think I may want to steal him :-P) and everyone was giggling at my attempts to command him to lie down in Swedish. Very very funny because, the drunker I got, the less I could pronounce the words. Oh dear. But the dog seemed to understand, even if he did look at me a couple of times as if to say "What the hell are you telling me to do, you crazy woman?!"

Then Elmer sensed that Skorpan was around. Apparently, this causes an interesting reaction that can only be heard at supersonic levels, i.e. Elmer yelps. Like, REALLY yelps. And then Skorpan runs away and hides behind Jey's toilet and refuses to come out until the nasty loud thing has gone away. It's actually really funny, once you put in the ear plugs :-P

So yeah, we hung out and drank a lot of alcohol and it was great :-) Also, my brother lied. Apparently Kopparburg tastes horrible, but he must mean the pear flavoured stuff because the apple stuff was AMAZING. Like, I-might-make-Jey-bring-me-some-when-she-visits-England amazing. Just...wow.

*-*-*-*-*

Sunday was a lazy day. Jey needed to get one of her fics finished, so she spent the day doing that. I was not left unsatisfied, however, because she searched around her igloo and thus presented me without about 40,545,346,978 SPN fics to read. So she wrote in silence whilst I read fic and also tried to decide whether or not it was worth getting dressed.

It was at this point that I found out WHY there are no polar bears around where Jey lives. See, she has this pair of fluffy trousers that she calls her "polar bear" trousers because they are warm and fluffy and comfy. And therefore, I have reason to believe that Jey singlehandedly attacked and skinned a polar bear using only a small twig and sheer force of will. Of course, this has scared all other polar bears away for fear that they might also suffer THE WRATH OF JEY. The WOJ is a very scary prospect. Apparently she turns into something that looks a bit like Grendel from the Beowulf movie. It's not pretty and it's HELLA SCARY. I, myself, have never suffered TWOJ, but there is many legend of people who have...and were never heard from again...

So, anyway, we just had a nice quiet day of reading/writing. It was all good. I decided to get dressed and then steadily made my way through the massive pile of paper that Skorpan wasn't sleeping on. Apparently, cats like to sleep on paper. Like, wtf?

Anyway, so THEN...

...oh yeah, it's gonna be good...

...keep waiting...

...almost there...

...I MET EVELINA, THE SOOPER SEEKRIT GIRLFRIEND!

I KNOW!

She came round to watch a movie with us (Black Sheep - quite possibly the BEST movie EVER made) and she hung out for a bit and Jey was very impressed with me because I managed to get Evelina to read fanfic when she never does usually. And omg we had the BEST PIZZA EVER. I would seriously give up chocolate if it meant I could have just a SLICE more of this pizza. It was like CRACK!

So then we watched the movie and laughed and laughed and laughed and fancied Tucker (and I may have had a bit of a crush on Henry). After Evelina left, Jey gave me more fic to read because I had finished the first load (I'm a very fast reader) and then we went to sleep because Jey had to get up at 6 to go to work.

Which means today I am sitting here in Jey's igloo, abusing her net connection :-P and talking to people on YIM.

Tonight, Jey has promised to take me to a REAL SWEDISH IKEA, so omg I bet all the names are in English :-P

I shall update more tomorrow (or as soon as I can) about IKEA and anything else that we do.

*-*-*-*-*

...and THAT, readers, is EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED!

ETA: I think Skorpan is plotting to kill me. He just put his claws out and looked at me with death in his eyes...*worries*

I'm in Sweden!

Omg it's EXACTLY like the tundra wilderness I imagined it to be...only with buildings and cars and no polar bears.

So my flight was delayed for like two hours yesterday, but I still made my overnight train (complete with little bunk beds :-P).

On the flight, I befriended the two Swedish girls next to me, who had just come back from India. We ended up doing a bit of a food swap when we got our sandwiches because the hard cheese had pickle in it. Yeurgh. In return, I got two chocolate bars, which brought my total chocolate count up to three. Good haul :-).

As life's eternal logic would have it, I was the first person in my carriage to get off the train (I was woken up by a man who looked exactly like a mole poking me in the side and whispering "Sundsvaaaaaaall...Sundsvaaaaaaaall..." - VERY scary).

As life's eternal logic would also have it, I was in a top bunk and my luggage was behind everyone else's. Cue a sudden spat of being brilliant at acrobatics and yoga and I was waiting for the train to stop so I could get off.

So we arrived at Sundsvall at about 3:50 a.m., where I phoned Jey and she ordered me a taxi. It was that special time of the morning where only I and the people who were too drunk to remember where they lived were awake. I love that time of the morning. It's magical :-)

So then I was standing outside the train station with about three taxis in front of me, starting to panic because none of them seemed to recognise my name. They then all drove off with people in them when...in swerved the craziest taxi driver EVER, bellowing "KIM?!" out of his window at the top of his voice. I replied "THAT'S ME!" at which point he skidded to a halt, jumped out, lifted my case as easily as one would lift a small child that weighed 13kg and put it in the boot of his Volvo (everyone drives a Volvo here - I'm NOT kidding :-P).

So then I got my luggage tag off my suitcase and showed it to the driver, as I cannot speak a word of Swedish. And yet people here think I AM Swedish, and thus start talking Swedish to me. I get scared and say "Sorry?", at which point they laugh and start talking English.

But back to my original story. So the taxi driver reads the address, nods and helps me into the car before getting in and setting off. Everything, and I mean everything, is covered in snow, so no chance of taking in landmarks or anything. I'm half out of it anyway because it's stupid o'fucking clock in the morning and can't really see.

Anyway, after about 10 minutes we get to Jey's igloo. The taxi driver helps me out and undercharges me by about 10 kronor. Which is about a pound, so it's REALLY of no consequence, but when I can't really stand up due to exhaustion that kind of thing is a fantastic victory :-P

Jey lets me into her igloo (which is in a 3-storey igloo complex) and we chat for a bit before collapsing asleep.

*-*-*-*-*

So, this morning we wake up and I discover that yoghurt comes in cartons. Yes, cartons. As in juice cartons. I look at it a bit suspiciously before trying out the thick liquid inside. It tastes nice - apple and vanilla. Jey then tells me that cheese slicers were invented by a guy who originally stated in his patent that they were not to be sold outside of Scandinavia.

I know.

So that's two things I've learned in the space of an hour. I'm doing better than when I'm at uni already :-P

So then we head out into town and I learn that Sundsvall was founded by a 17th century rapper called Gustav II, or G2A to his posse. West Si-eeeeeeeede!

Then we go shopping for alcohol, which is sold in special shops that close at 3 p.m., which is absolute madness, if you ask me. Anyway, I have some Apple Kopperburg (my brother said to avoid the pear flavour), some Swedish-type alcopop thing and Blue Nun, my favourite ever wine apart from Black Tower.

When we go up to pay I make a complete arse of myself and nearly start crying because I get everything wrong :-P We leave the alcohol shop pretty sharpish and wander around a bit more.

I have to say that my favourite part of the day has been going into a Swedish Subway and, after only being charged for a kiddie sandwich because I only got tuna and no salad or anything, I got a fresh baked cookie. Like, with a gooey centre and everything. It was orgasmic.

Anyway, apparently tonight we're going to some sort of launch party for Jey's brother's friend's band, which should be cool. I'll update on that tomorrow, and possibly post some photos of Jey and her igloo.

*-*-*-*-*

...and THAT, readers, is EXACTLY how it happened!

1. Get run over by a car.

2. Wouldn't have to do my exams...

Probably one a couple of years ago where a guy took me out to lunch, was "talking" to me and kept eyeing up the waitress and not paying attention to me.

Yeah, so fuck that.